Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I hate it when I forget my camera!

This weekend was the festival International de louisiane and we had a great time! The weather was perfect! It was a postcard picture every direction you looked toward. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my camera and I wasn't able to take any pictures. So I will try and describe it as best as I can.

The temperature was in the 80's with a nice subtle breeze. The skies were a perfect shade of blue, not a cloud in sight. You couldn't ask for a better day than this one. It was the type of day that if you were in an awful mood about something, you would snap out of it by stepping outside and taking a deep breath. One of my best friends from New Orleans came up to spend some time with us that weekend. It has been a while since we've seen each other and I was happy that she had planned to come visit and join us at the festival.

The husband and I decided that Saturday would be a good day to bring the babies and that two in the afternoon would be a perfect time to go since the babies would have had their lunch and afternoon nap.That morning we enjoyed breakfast and mimosa on our back patio, we packed the babies bags and the car, which took practically all afternoon long, especially since I'm the kind of mother that must have all the necessary equipment, plus the bathroom sink, in order for me to be at ease.

Earlier that week, I decided I would go shopping and buy me several sundresses that I would wear for the summer. I've been losing so much weight, I suspect from breastfeeding, that shorts make me look like I have chicken legs. Let's just say that "Olive Oil" would look great in a pair of daisy dukes standing next to me.

My friend from New Orleans is a beautiful, voluptuous girl and has great taste in wardrobe, in my opinion. And I knew that she would probably wear something that would make me, basically, want to throw up. As I suspected, she had put on the most beautiful sun dress I've ever seen for the festival! It was enough to want to slap my own Mama! I'm sure it made her feel like a million bucks, and me, a negative ten. Put it to you this way, there was a little demon on my shoulder telling me some crazy idea, that my husband would basically forget he had a wife and two babies and the first chance he got...I won't go any further! Needless to say, I had a meltdown in my closet and by the time I was done trying everything on, I was standing on a mountain of clothes that I decided I would generously give to the poor. Thank God I was able to bring myself out of the dark dreadful depression! My friend had given me something to wear that made me feel slightly better than I did prior to slapping my Mama. She such a good friend! Previously that week, I had called her in distress about the situation I was having and how I was developing a complex about my weight. So she brought me some clothes that didn't fit her, that still had tags on them, and miraculously, fit me perfectly! (Thanks, friend!)

Now, back to the gorgeous day we were having! So when we got to the festival, to my surprise, we were able to find a parking spot right away, which was great because babies at this age have no patience to be driving around looking for parking and neither do I. We began to stroll our babies down to the festival. The breeze felt so nice! I remember thinking to myself how silly it was for me to think of such off-the-wall-shit! I mean, look at what a beautiful day it is! And that breeze, mind the fact that it was blowing my friends dress up from under her every few seconds and showing her fabulous ass! I mean, COME ON! I wish I had my camera with me! I could have taken a great photograph of her standing on a drain! Needless to say, I didn't have a problem with it at all, nor did my husband or any other guy for that matter!

Overall, we had a great time at the festival. We camped out under an oak tree next to some wonderful people that now I consider friends. I just hope we run into each other at another festival so that we can get their number (Thanks for the Jello shots!). I was happy that my best friend could join us too. She is a great friend to have. She has a great sense of humor and that's why I feel that when, or if, she reads this, she'll take it lightly and realize that I really do think the world of her and care for her as though we were sisters. We practically grew up together and I love her to death! I love her sense of style and her charisma. We are there for each other in situations such as this one, that's what friends are for, and fuck it if she can't take a joke! I really wish I had brought my camera with me that day so that we would have taken pictures together! I would have most definitely bragged about them on facebook!

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Jackie O's have done it again!

When we get together with our friends once in a "Blue Coyote Moon", the following morning we usually say to ourselves..."Oops! We've done it again!" But really without the Oops! We have SO MUCH FUN! Honestly, I think that it's by NO MEANS a mistake! The alcohol may have contributed just a little, but, basically, we're just happy people enjoying ourselves the best way we know how. And when you add BEST friends into the mix, we get CRAZY, SEXY AND BUCK WILD!

The picture below, we are enjoying a shot of "blowjobs" at Pat O' Brien's in New Orleans and we couldn't resist the classic French Quarter drunk pose scene, by hanging on the light post.

I would like to thank my folks for babysitting the kids on Friday and our husbands for being tolerant of our indecent unpropitious behavior. I'm sure they really didn't mind it at all, being that their thoughts were focused on getting home that night and getting lucky!

We had an awesome time at the 2009 French Quarter Festival! Now it's time for Festival International de Louisiane in downtown Lafayette! This festival is great for families! All of the stages are set up in close proximity from each other and there is plenty of shade, good food, fun people and awesome bands from all around the world! The best part is that it's free!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Band practice

Here are my boys practicing for their future band!
Based on the assumption that I will wake up one morning and find a written letter informing me that everything will be OK. And that they're taking a road trip with a few of their buddies to follow their so called dreams and start a band.

I just hope that the lyrics will be sensible, understandable and Simon would have given their vocals a well respected thumbs up. They most certainly will have completed high school, and hopefully given college a chance. They will have also reassured me that this is their calling and there is nothing else they would rather be doing right now but to play music.

Then, I will say to them: "If this is what you truly love and enjoy doing, then go!" "Go and make us proud!" "And if you get rich, don't forget who fed, bathed and wiped your asses on a daily basis, had to put up with your tantrums, and cared for you when you both were sick." "We have spent our entire savings for the two of you to go to college, so that you may respectfully join a fraternity to basically party, meet girls and drop out!" "So make sure to share a little of your wealth with us!" "We can use an extended long-awaited vacation somewhere far far away!" "We will greatly appreciate it!"

There's no place like home

My folks came down to visit for the Easter holidays and we had a really nice time. We were able to enjoy ourselves without the stress that comes along with going ANYWHERE with a toddler. These past few months, we've come to realize that home is the best place to spend our weekends, being that we have a 2 year old at the present time. I’m sure everyone who has a toddler will agree with me on this one. Lately, it's been difficult to visit friends, go to a restaurant, or go to any festivals without having to chase down our toddler and constantly correct him not to touch the 'breakables' (everything basically) and to stay put.
So, coincidentally, we hang out with whomever is willing to and wherever it’s tolerated. This weekend we celebrated with the grandparents, three dogs, a nice bottle of wine on Friday, a refreshing pitcher of Sangria on Saturday and bubbly mimosas on Sunday. We played music and hung out on our back patio all day long. Our featured chefs were the incredible husband, who cooked awesome paella for a Saturday dinner special, and the one and only Mom, who cooked kickass huevos rancheros for Sunday brunch. We danced, sang, and drank all weekend long without having to run around after our toddler like a distressed nut case.

We are looking forward to this weekends French Quarter festival. But I can tell you this, I will have my entourage with me (volunteers are welcomed) to help keep an eye on my toddler and to help me feel remotely at ease about having a good time.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Holy Chocolate!

Being that it's close to Easter and all, my 2 year old is becoming overly anxious about finding Easter eggs and chocolate treats all around our backyard. Try to explain to a toddler that Easter is not today, and you'll basically have a pretty pissed off little kid on your hands. And I'm not about to argue with him, it would be considered irrelevant.

I've been trying to schedule in a time each day to basically pick up dog mess from my backyard. Nevertheless, I haven't managed to do so. So of course there is more than enough shit out there to fill up a dump truck. I won't argue with my husband on that bit of information he shares with me every weekend.

Well, just a couple of days ago my little boy decides it's Easter Day on his clock, and he's going to find himself some Easter treats, is what I assumed. To my surprise it wasn't Easter candy that was on his mind. It was doggy doo doo! He wanted to help his Mommy pick up dog shit just in time for Easter Sunday! Or, he was mistaken and thought that the damn shit was Hershey's chocolate eggs! Totally understandable! Take a look for yourself!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Boob issues!

OK! I'm having some issues here with my boobs! I'm breastfeeding my nine-month-old, and one of my boobs keep filling up more than the other. So, obviously, I'm feeling a bit lopsided these days. What sucks is that all of my bras are fitting my right boob perfectly and my left boob is left alone to fend for itself. What's a mother to do? I figured, I should stop breastfeeding. That way my right boob will shrink back to size (reality check), and my left boob won't feel so discriminated by the fact that it's left without any support. That's the only solution I can think of at this moment. If I think of anything better, I'll have to patten the idea and make millions.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Colore me science

I have finally found what I've been searching for! Something that will make my Grey skies Blue again! Or should I say, something that will make Death seem so Alive! The product is called Colorescience Eye Candy Trio Kit. No, this is not a paid advertisement. This is my honest to God opinion. It's the best makeup product I've owned since Wet N' Wild.

Eye Candy Trio Kit is a system that will open and refresh the eye area. OPEN AND REFRESH! Just what I need for these dark and sunken eyes of mine. Who needs sleep if there's a product like this on the market. It can also be used as an eye mask by combining them together and applying it before bedtime.Your husband or lover will think you look fabulous day or night! No surprises here, "what you see is what you get" is what they'll think.

Colorescience has many great products. I absolutely love their Pep Up Gel! I see a huge difference the second I apply it on! Apply Colorescience Wild To Mild SunReliable Primer, Skin Bronzer, SPF 20 and no one will ever suspect you're a vampire. It will give you a nice subtle tan you've been wanting without the damaging rays! Who wants premature wrinkles anyway?

Dermatologist reviews on Colorescience

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


We are gearing-up for the ride of our lives. My big sister (bestfriend) are close in age and I have to admit, while growing up we gave our parents a run for their money! I truly believe what goes around comes around and when I became pregnant with my first child, I said to myself, "Phew!" "That was a close call!" I was so relieved that it was a boy. I WAS SPARED! I thought. We would not be tormented by hormonal, overly-sensitive behavior, In other words... LITTLE BITCHES! Face it, girls, we are. And whoever thinks otherwise is basically a bitch in denial. There's nothing wrong with it! Embrace it and use with caution! So, I thought raising two boys close in age would be a breeze compared to raising two girls. Until NOW!

This past weekend was spent with the grandparents, delighting in the spring air at the Algiers River Festival. It was a really nice time. We enjoyed the bands, the food, the people, and the arts and crafts. To my surprise they were serving vegan friendly burgers at one of the food stands. Being the "Skinny Bitch" that I am, I was extremely thrilled about this!

My boys really enjoyed themselves, even my 8-month-old who is overly-anxious to go wherever his big brother goes. I think he'll start walking at 9 months. My grandmother, bless her soul, would be very proud. She constantly bragged about my Dad being able to walk at this age.

The festival took place by the Mississippi river on the opposite side of the levee. It was really nice being able to watch the river boats go by. My 2-year-old got a kick out of it! But what caught his attention and made him nearly figure out how to escape out of the 5 point harness buckle from his stroller, was watching his Dad sliding down the levee on a piece of cardboard! Being that I'm also a kid at heart, I too thought this was going to be way-more-fun than sitting around watching boats go by.

When I first met my husband, I knew that we were meant to be, that we were a match made in heaven. He has such a competitive drive, you can actually see it pulsating through his veins! Growing up I too was a competitive, free spirited individual. I'd try almost anything that would challenge my inner Janet Guthrie. What sucks is that I have scars on both knees to prove it. Who said I was good at everything?

As for my 2-year-old, I think he's inherited the same competitive, free spirited gene. Which one of us he got it from? Only God knows the answer to that question. I'm now preparing myself for what is yet to come. I may not have precocious, inconsiderate little brats to deal with, but what I do have are undaunted, little stunt devils who will have their momma on the edge of her seat, biting her nails till they bleed, and praying each day that they both make it home in one piece.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Hair Porn

I had a hair appointment today and my Mom wanted to see my hair dew. So here it is, Mom. Do you like? I had to wear my glasses to cover the dark circles around my eyes. It actually works! Great quick fix when you're hung over, or in my case, sleep deprived.

Dog Gone Grooming

Miraculously I was able to groom my 3 dogs, and low and behold my children did not have preschool that day. It's a wonder to me why I even pay for them to go. They either out because their sick or because of a fucking holiday that shouldn't even exist.

I decided that I wasn't going to be bothered by the fact that my kids were going to be in and out of the laundry room while I groomed. Nor would I be bothered by the fact that my dogs took a crap in there every night because of a stomach virus. I mopped the floors with bleach, but I still didn't feel that comfortable about them walking or crawling on them.

I'm going to mention that my toddler is obsessed with the blow dryer. Don't ask me why? I figured, what 2 year old isn't obsessed with anything that makes noise. I'm just glad that he's had this obsession for a while and now it's beginning to become "old news" to him. "Been there, done that." "Got my t-shirt." "Now let's move on."

I should also mention how long it takes a groomer to groom a well behaved, not so shabby dog on any given day without interruptions. Approximately 1 hour. So you do the math 3 dogs + 3 grooms.

This is how long it takes when you add the following to the equation:
1) groomer / mother / perfectionist.
2) 2 year old + 8 month old on a somewhat normal schedule
3) somewhat normal schedule: breakfast/bottle, playtime, 8mth nap, solids, snack, 2T nap, bottle, 8mth nap, lunch, playtime, bottle/snack, playtime, 8mth nap, dinner/solids.
4) crappy blow dryer (a groomers nightmare)
5) no lead to hold dogs in place (another groomers nightmare)
6) a toddler who is more than willing to help his mommy with the blow drying.

Add this to the equation and it will take a professional groomer approximately 6 hours of SO MUCH FUN! (emphasize sarcasm here)

I simply have to be thankful for having dogs who are extremely patient and forgiving. And also that they have the brains not to jump off the counter top in which I left them every few minutes so that I was able to tend to the children.