My name is Pokerfacemom, and I'm a Shopaholic

Lately, I haven't been able to feed my addiction that I obsessively crave, at least... hmmmmm... more than I should say. Wait a minute! I have a bit of telepathy going on right at this very moment! What's that honey? ("H-o-o-r-a-y! H-o-o-r-a-y!") That's great sweetie! I'm glad you're thrilled! As crazy as it sounds, I'm feeling pretty damn good about it also. It's nice to know that we'll be saving a few thousand dollars this year.

Luckily, for me that is, my cousin who has an online business on eBay, selling name-brand, hand-me-downs (Who has a multimillionaire friend connection), came over just in the nick-of-time, and saved me from the dreadful withdrawal syndrome I've been suffering from for these past few months! She came over with a bag FULL of designer name-brand jeans that, apparently, I never seem to have enough of! And to be open and honest about it, I wanted to purchase every single pair. Especially since I haven't been on a shopping spree for a very long time. It's just too hard to do with two sneaky toddlers. And these past few months I've been limited to Super Target. That's where I do most of my damage. I usually come back home with a bunch of unnecessary items, and most of the ones I have on my list, mysteriously works its way out of the cart. Pretty sneaky if you ask me. Anyway, it felt as though I truly had an addiction that was irrepressible. Seriously. If my cousin would have had an endless supply of the stuff, I might have been subjected to a rehab facility by possibly THE  HUSBAND.

Now, this is going to be a little difficult for me to do. I would want to keep this kind of information to myself, it would greatly increase the chances of me winning. But, since I've become a better person after having children, I will eagerly share it with all of you! If you like to check out my cousin's eBay store, just click on the link in this sentence. Take a look at what she has to offer and her great prices, which is basically a steal if you consider how much it would cost brand new at the store. Some of her stuff is BRAND NEW with tags! But I must warn you, they go pretty fast!

STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS AND PLACE YOUR BETS! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE BESIDE YOU PLACING MINE!

I think my real problem would've been if I did NOT splurge and buy these bad- ass True Religion Swarovski crystal jeans. I'd say to the husband, "I must have fallen off my rocker and bumped my head, to just go right ahead and trade me in for a newer model." And you might as well subject me into an INSANE ASYLUM while you're at it!

Apparently I made the right decision because ever since I made that purchase, I've been floating on cloud 9 and loving every minute of it! And I'm pretty sure the husband is loving it also. There it is again! What's that honey? ("F-r-o-m  b-i-t-c-h  t-o  s-w-e-e-t-h-e-a-r-t  r-i-g-h-t  o-v-e-r-n-i-g-h-t!") Thanks babe! I'll have to agree with you on that one! I am feeling pretty damn sweet! And SO SPANKIN' HOT, you can hear me sizzle!

I love my Suki!

It sounds like a car not a facial care product, and yes, I do love my Suki! A product recommended by Sophie Uliano, the author of the book Gorgeously Green, credited by Julia Roberts who promotes and swears by the book. So of course, I needed to pick up a copy, and read it for myself. And I'm pleased to say that I'm 110% satisfied with one particular product. And, since I'm a mother of two busy little bodies, it's hard to treat myself to a facial as often as I like to. Suki has made it possible with a product like this one.

It's an exfoliate foam cleanser with sugar, rice flour, lemongrass and orange that gently cleanses and exfoliates dead cells, leaving your skin feeling like a brand-spanking, new-to-the-world, untouched by harsh chemicals, and environmentally damage-free, newborn skin! Its no wonder why the metaphor "baby soft skin" is over used to sell skin care products. Best way to describe it would be, soft to the touch, silky and smooth, never seen the light of the sun, hairless booty.

So, I'm totally on board with this product, until scientist can come up with a procedure that can repair cell tissue to its youthful state, which I've heard is on the works. I don't think I would mind being 90 something years old, on my death bed, looking fabulous and radiantly young. But, I would hope that I feel as good as I look during those last few years. Being shiny and new on the outside just doesn't make sense if it's old and dull, and not exactly tick-tocking like it should on the inside.

I can't believe it's Tofu!!!

This ice cream is so orgasmicly yummylicious! Sex is over-rated when you can indulge in something so sinful and feel so guilt free! The flavor of choice is called Vanilla Almond Bark. I can't believe it's dairy free! Nor could I believe that the product is made with tofu, even though the product is made by (Tofu-tti).

I highly recommend that you take the first bite when there is ABSOLUTELY no distractions! How is this possible, you ask? Especially, if you have kids? Give some to your children in an ice cream cone and place them in some sort of restraint system, like a high chair and buckle them in. I guarantee they will settle down with their first lick!

It will have you wondering why ice cream was ever made with dairy in the first place! And those bits of Almond Bark, I'm assuming is what they are, will have you jumping up and down as though you were a kid again! My kids didn't know what to think of me. They seem to want to say, " OK, Mom, it's only ice cream!" But to me it is more than ice cream! It is DAIRY FREE ice cream! I can actually eat as much as I want of this stuff and never get fat!

"Preserve"

I found this fabulous toothbrush that instantly attracted my attention because of its extraordinary design. This was a purchase made strictly based on "looks". I would have to agree with the husband on this purchase. Not only was it based on looks but also the products name, "Preserve". This remarkable toothbrush is environmentally-friendly, made with 100% recycled plastic in the handles, including recycled yogurt cups. Engineered by Dentists, its curved handle makes it more effective for a thorough cleaning. It has "virgin nylon bristles" with soft outer rows to protect your gums and tooth enamel. I also like the fact that the packaging can be used as a travel case.

SOLD! Not only did I love the look and name of the product but also because of its cause. And I'm also thrilled that the product is as effective as its looks! Now, maybe, I won't feel so bad about the endless diapers that are being dumped into landfills because I can't convince myself to use cloth diapers or g diapers at the present time. Hopefully, that will change, after I potty train my 2 year old. I just can't see myself scraping a pile of shit into the toilet or scrubbing, rinsing and wringing out cloth diapers in the bathroom sink, while my toddler runs around in his half pinned up diaper, that I would imagine, I had trouble putting on him because I had, "Drama" (my 9 month old), screaming in the other room for no remote reason, just because he thinks it's SO FUNNY to see his crazy mamma running toward him like a distressed nut!

Colore me science

I have finally found what I've been searching for! Something that will make my Grey skies Blue again! Or should I say, something that will make Death seem so Alive! The product is called Colorescience Eye Candy Trio Kit. No, this is not a paid advertisement. This is my honest to God opinion. It's the best makeup product I've owned since Wet N' Wild.

Eye Candy Trio Kit is a system that will open and refresh the eye area. OPEN AND REFRESH! Just what I need for these dark and sunken eyes of mine. Who needs sleep if there's a product like this on the market. It can also be used as an eye mask by combining them together and applying it before bedtime.Your husband or lover will think you look fabulous day or night! No surprises here, "what you see is what you get" is what they'll think.

Colorescience has many great products. I absolutely love their Pep Up Gel! I see a huge difference the second I apply it on! Apply Colorescience Wild To Mild SunReliable Primer, Skin Bronzer, SPF 20 and no one will ever suspect you're a vampire. It will give you a nice subtle tan you've been wanting without the damaging rays! Who wants premature wrinkles anyway?

Dermatologist reviews on Colorescience

Hair Porn

I had a hair appointment today and my Mom wanted to see my hair dew. So here it is, Mom. Do you like? I had to wear my glasses to cover the dark circles around my eyes. It actually works! Great quick fix when you're hung over, or in my case, sleep deprived.