Suburbia meets Country

A short hour drive northwest of Lafayette is a small town called Iota. There we visited a retired couple (friends of my sister and her boyfriend) who own 20 something acres of land and built their quaint house in the middle of endless pine trees with a guest cottage and a barn. Talk about awesome! I never felt such at peace before. I could definitely see myself living here. Both our children had a blast! They rode a gentle horse named Jericho, got to drive a tractor, and played with the farm cat. My little one said he never wants to leave. Maybe one day we will have a chance to live like that. It's something we've thought about doing for a long time. We would need to dig deep (and I mean DEEP) into our past generations and sharpen our farming skills. Hey! It's the biggest trend right now! Living off the grid!

Happy Haunting

I must've walked through a time warp and now we are here. It seems I was complaining about traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur just the other day. Lost my cat (and almost my eye) somewhere in Texas. Crowded memories are all I have of our last move and the one before that. Just a year ago we were unpacking and reestablishing ourselves in Fulshear FOR GOOD (so we thought). And now (before I can say 10 Mississippi's), we are in Lafayette, Louisiana settling into our NEW home, starting a new chapter. I can't believe it's been a year already! I'm not gonna lie, moving from place to place within such a short time frame has its effects on people. It's fucking with my brain for one. I find myself pulling out the wrong drawers, opening the wrong cabinets, walking into the wrong rooms and constantly daydreaming about our last home. It's enough to drive me insane. I managed to isolate myself from others as this may cause a slight twitching in one of my eyes. Imagine speaking with anyone in this unstable state to talk about our journey here and why we moved so many times, as if we're outlaws, running away from something or someone. But, I'm okay with it. I've always gravitated toward solitude. It's a place where I can just BE.

What makes us stranger and odder with each move, we're unpacked and ready to introduce ourselves on the spookiest month of the year. October. "GREETINGS AND HAPPY HAUNTING TO YOU ALL, WELCOME!" We go all out with skulls on stakes and creepy spiderwebs. We welcome our new neighbors on Halloween night with a ghoulish spread. Not to mention that it's our favorite season, and how I, amazingly, manage to keep track of all of our Halloween decor after ALL THOSE MOVES!

HAPPY HAUNTING!

To be continued...

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

This morning, as I prepared my breakfast which consisted of fresh avocados, queso fresco (fresh cheese) wrapped in a corn tortilla, some pepper accidentally landed in my glass of OJ. I then thought, why not sprinkle some more? To my tastes buds' wonderment... It was Pretty. Damn. GOOD.
I shall name it; ORANGE YOU AWAKE YET?!
`(Recipe follows)

ORANGE YOU AWAKE YET?!

8oz of Orange juice of your liking

1 to 2 sprinkles, or MORE, of black pepper

For an explosive taste and extra BANG, Substitute cayenne pepper. Oh, what the hell, add a splash of vodka to give it Bigger BANG. 

Tip of the Day: Cayenne pepper is one of the best natural herbs for weight loss.


Now stir and enjoy!



“You see things and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and I say, ‘Why not’?” – George Bernard Shaw

Optometrist vs Ophthalmogist

"Great News!" is what she said. "What you have is not internally, but superficial. The white spot you have on your retina is called "phlyctenule" which is the red angry leash of blood vessels responding to your inflammation and a bacteria called "Staphylococcus" on your eyelid." (Stegasauruswhah?) "You have Staphylococcal hypersensitivity, to be precise. This occurs when you accumulate more bacteria than usual. Sometimes excess oils in the Meibomian glands will stimulate more bacterial growth on the lids." Okay, whatever you say, Doc. I'm just happy that I'm finally at the RIGHT place, seeing the RIGHT kind of doctor, with the RIGHT prognosis.

You see, eventually, when my eyelid puffed up like the size of a giant marshmallow, is when I made the decision to see a doctor right away. Hence, I began my search online. Well, as I typed ophthalmologist, I misspelled the word which then Google corrected, which THEN popped up with the word optometrist. Apparently, I was in panic mode at the time, because I would've recognized it then that this is a much more complex situation that needed to be treated by an ophthalmologist. Instead, I called right away to book an appointment for that day with the first optometrist that popped up on the list of doctors in the area. I don't entirely fault Google for this. I should have known something was wrong when I arrived at the clinic. Every person in there browsing nonchalantly at fashionable eyewear with their not-a-worry-in-the-world look, I was the only one who had the just-stepped-out-of-the-ring-with-Mike-Tyson look. To seal the deal, while I patiently waited for the optometrist to walk in, a tall and dark, handsome young man entered the room wearing godawful green scrubs. (Well hello there, Doctor) (Why, indeed, you can look in my eye) And he did. He did with an enormous thingamajig and said it's an ulceration, prescribed me antibiotics and suggested to come back to see him in a week. (I can hardly wait) So after the fourth day of using the antibiotics, and still not seeing any improvements, I went in to see him earlier than intended with the one eye I had left. (I'm afraid we need to stop seeing each other. You blinded me with Science...Literally) "You're right. It's not getting better, but the good news is it's not getting worse, and I will need to recommend you to an ophthalmologist who specializes in the retina and can diagnose you appropriately." (Opthalmolowhah?)

So I had to say goodbye to my optometrist, and off I went to see the right kind of doctor I had originally thought of seeing in the first place had it not been for Google Smarty Pants!

An eye infection is a serious matter.

I never thought it can happen to me, even though I wear contacts, AND there's an increased risk for those who do. The thought has always haunted me with great fear. A corneal ulcer can be devastating to the eye. You can go BLIND if left untreated. I am extremely apprehensive and I scrupulously wash my hands before putting in my contacts, and rarely sleep with them in. I replace my contact case every couple of weeks and soak the lenses in eye disinfecting solution every night. So how did this happen? WHY ME?!

Click here 
to get your NIFTY pillbox
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I racked my brain trying to figure out how and why. Is it an age thing? (There's nothing good about getting old) Could it be an immune deficiency? (It's only going to get worse) Am I drinking too much? (What am I suppose to do with my pastime?) Did I become careless somehow by washing my hands inadequately prior to inserting my contacts? (Having a visual of my kids wiping my ass) Was it the eyeshadow I wore? I didn't wash off my eye makeup and fell asleep with my contacts in that ONE particular night. I remember them feeling a bit dry and irritated when I awoke. (Gone are the days of feeling carefree) In the morning, I took out my contacts and wore my eyeglasses until they recouped. My eyes eventually felt better but never 100%. (Like I said there's nothing good about getting old) 

I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, and now, I'm suffering the consequences of my carelessness. Perhaps I should have heeded the signs and gone to see an optometrist before this could ever happen. For that, I'm faced with possible scarring and hopes that this clears up quickly with antibiotics prescribed by my doctor.  

Moving forward, I'm not taking any more chances. I threw out the eyeshadow I wore that night and the contacts. I also threw away the case. I have plans to revisit the optometrist in a week and hope for the best. And if and when this clears up, and my eyes feel dry and irritated again, I will see an eye doctor without hesitation. 

The moral of this story, never let your guard down or take things for granted, unless you want to pay the ultimate price by losing your eyesight.

Mother Shark

Whaaat?!

Why aren't we born with natural instincts to survive without our mothers like that of a shark? Disciplining and preparing both my six-year-old and my eight-year-old to function properly in this godforsaken world has got to be one of the hardest parts for me. It's utterly exhausting and overwhelming in short. They test the limits and push the boundaries until I've reached the breaking point. Typically in the mornings as I'm getting them ready for school.

I've googled parenting advice online and downloaded countless books. But let's face it, every mom becomes an expert after having a child, feeding knowledge through the internet to fresh, newly-weakened comers starving for liberation (I'm guilty as they come). Some who are authors who write books that possibly become a New York Times Best-Seller. Successfully selling them off the shelf to desperate, frazzled moms (like me). And then, there are those of us who blog about it in hopes that Huffington Post will take notice and spread like wildfire. All excellent parenting advice, but I've YET to develop a technique that STICKS.

I then dug deep into my roots and shifted towards my ancestor's method; most relate to the old school way; magically whipped out a hefty size belt-buckle in midair. I thought, why not if it worked on me? I've tried the Latin way, sported a wooden spoon around my neck and occasionally grabbed a chancleta (any slip-on shoe) when one was within reaching distance. But this sort of discipline did nothing, as it had the opposite effect on mine! They'd laugh instead of cry for God's sake! What child does that?! MINIONS!

"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH ANYTHING
EXCEPT FOR THE AIR AND
THE FLOOR."

Nothing seemed to work. My 'MINIONS' were overtaking the entire house. My anxiety and frustration just grew bigger and BIGGER. I even tried military discipline by deepening my voice with authority and shout, "GET YOUR FREAKING BUTT OVER HERE OR ELSE", or, "DON'T MAKE ME KNOCK YOU OUT IN FRONT OF THE NEIGHBORS", or,"I SAID MOVE IT...MOVE IT" I could have written a rap song...But nevermind that. And once again, they'd think it was hysterical because I said the funniest word to ever exist, TO THEM, in all of history. Yes, the word BUTT. Meanwhile, my neighbors assumed someone DESPICABLE (ME, of course) moved in next-door. I saw them once since we first moved here back in July and even tried saying hello. I walked over to introduce myself as they swiftly scrambled their way inside their home. One word. AWKWARD.

So then I chose to go with the times, printed out the infamous Reward Chart and stuck it on our refrigerator door. They needed to gain five stickers a day during the week in order to get a prize on a Friday. It worked for a while, but then I realized giving them a reward every week was doing them more harm than good. Not to mention, it was becoming a costly operation, as they became reliant on prizes for EVERY FREAKING thing they miraculously achieved without a fight. "Okay, Mom, I'll brush my teeth, if you give me a sticker." "Sure, I'll wipe my OWN BUTT... hehe... if you give me a sticker."  "Oki Doki...You say bath. I say PRIZE!"

If you're wondering about timeouts, it faded away a long time ago as it became a challenge especially in the mornings when I needed to get them to school on time. I began to lose hope and knew that something needed to work AND SOON. I was fighting a losing battle and didn't know where else to turn. I was running out of techniques! I hated to spank. I hated to shout. I hated timeouts. I bet you're asking yourself why is it that I even had kids in the first place? How can I not know what it involves, and why was I so blind? The truth is I knew it would require sacrifices and patience, and PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. I have a heart of a lion and the soul of an elephant, if life did not come with challenges then what is living?

So what approach have I chosen for mine? It changes from time to time, to be honest. I use whatever course of action that feels right at that moment. Of course, I'd fall but I will not succumb. It's an understanding between human beings. Children are no different. They want to please their parents. They want to learn and understand the reasoning behind the cause. They want to become independent and respected just like we do; it's that simple. Why can't I play Catch-Me-If-You-Can before school starts? And yes, you have to spell it out for them. B-e-c-a-u-s-e  i-f  y-o-u  a-r-e  t-a-r-d-y  a-t  s-c-h-o-o-l,  y-o-u  w-o-n'-t  h-a-v-e  r-e-c-e-s-s. In other words; If you break the law you'll go to jail! And if you want to be a big boy then you must act responsibly to become one. (Tip: Have these conversations when they're inside the vehicle and strapped in, when there's no other choice for them but to listen.)

I told myself; there are no rules set in stone, I'd set them as it became fit. But there IS one rule set in stone. Communication. Make that two. And Don't disturb mommy when she's having her cup of Joe in the mornings. Make that three. Also WINE in the evenings. I converse with them about everything that should matter to them in the world, about what society is like and how difficult it can be to fit in if you don't act responsibly. I continue to teach them about consequences and the theoretical theory of cause and effect. I teach them to have consideration, and understanding one another.

As for a reward, I praise them for good behavior with lots of hugs and kisses. I also like to keep it childish sometimes, stoop to their level and just have PLAIN OL' FUN! By me showing interest in their interests, I'm showing them respect for their wants and needs conversely. That playing is okay at appropriate times and not before school starts!

So go ahead! Be a kid-at-heart and let loose now and then.

Now please excuse me while I put on my NERF gear and show them who's the BIG fish around here...

KEEP CALM 
AND
JUST SMILE

DROOPY IS NOT JUST IN FAIRYTALES...

IT'S ALSO MAKING ITS DEBUT ON MY FACE!

I've been noticing some changes happening to my face this past year since I've turned 40, especially around the eyes. Indeed the forces of gravity does not help the issue I'm struggling to cope with, IT"S ONLY MAKING IT WORSE. Although, I believe that I inherited the droopiness on the outer edges of my eyelids from my blessed great-grandmother on my father's side of the family. If not now, SOON, I'll need to perform a quick-fix by inserting toothpicks as to give them a lift. So that way I'm able to see beyond the immediate field of vision. And perhaps I'll sport some of those stylish funky cat eye glasses to disguise them a bit.

Dedicated to our guardian ancestors 

Cat's Gone Missing...

...And I don't even think I waited 24 hours before I went into panic mode. I immediately sent out a KRUSTY Alert. Asking anyone if they've seen a small, grey and white cat sporting a pink collar, to please notify me and to keep a look-out for her.

Lost Cat in Katy area
Last seen wearing a pink collar.

During the early hours I thought nothing of it. She's a cat. Cats go on prowls all the time. FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF! She'll be back sooner or later. Consciously telling myself this didn't do much good. Regardless of my tiny inner-voice's efforts, my imagination went spiraling into a crime scene as I find myself compelled to solve a mystery, with or without a corpse. I'd say; I may have watched too many episodes of American Horror Stories the previous night which resulted in a pool of negative energy engulfing me, or simply paranoia. But, for whatever reason, in my mind I was convinced that Krusty was killed and devoured ferociously by something CREEPY.

It's not unlikely. You see, we now live in Fulshear, Texas within a golf course community, surrounded by dense woods, lakes, rivers and farmlands. There are said to be coyotes, bobcats, and alligators on the prowl. Not to mention Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on a true story.

A few hours went by and Krusty was still nowhere insight. Thankfully, I had my family only a text away for support who suggested that she could be enjoying a bush-meal somewhere. Then, a few MORE hours later. Okay...Some other person is feeding her Pâté.

It is now DAWN. I began to Google every possible predator known to wilderman and native American in the state of Texas. Including The Great Horned Howl.  The great horned owl is a year round presence in eastern Texas and prefers open woodlands along with farmlands. (So, POSSIBLY A GOLF COURSE?) This is the only type of owl that makes a meal out of skunks on a regular basis. The great horned owl will also kill and eat osprey chicks, small mammals (SMALL MAMMALS! Like, a small house cat?)  birds as large as herons, and reptiles like snakes and lizards.

I continued to enlighten myself about these MAGNIFICENT creatures. Thanks to Larry Page and Sergey Brin we now can brilliantly fill our minds with every bit of information, confirming that our irrational thoughts can be quite logical, making us feel sane again. I further proved my insanity (I meant SANITY) Googling image after image, video after video, wiki after wiki... on The Great Horned Owl.

Then, it dawned on me. A few nights ago I saw something swoop down into the darkness from an adjacent tree in our backyard while soaking in our hot tub. Say around 10ish. "WHOA! I THINK IT'S AN OWL! SO FREAKIN' COOL!", I proclaimed in my drunken voice. "By the way, where's Krusty?" Then I recalled a couple mornings ago stepping on poop outside our back door. It had disintegrated into an ash-like substance after kicking it off with my shoe. Eeeewww, Yuck...What strange poop, I thought to myself. *Googling* g-r-e-a-t  h-o-r-n-e-d  o-w-l-'-s  p-o-o-p  i-m-a-g-e-s *enter*

Here's what I've discovered...



These owls are fearless towards humans AND CATS!

The title to this video:
"Neighbors fear owls are eating small dogs and CATS"




And this image of the great horned owl's poop, called pellets, IS ALL THE PROOF I NEED. It is the replica of the poop I stepped on.

 

Bingo!
I'm closing in.
I suspect my cat was a fancy feast for an Owl.

That night, I got up every hour to check outside. I kept imagining her head being ripped apart and devoured by a Great Horned Owl. I somehow kept hearing her constant faint cries inside my head. Meowwww, meowww...meowww... "Krusty, Krusty? Is that you?", I rambled on and on in my sleep.

Then, the following morning, before I can say I NEED COFFEE in my zombified voice,
I proceeded to open the back door...

"KRUSTIBELLA, YOU'RE ALIVE!!!"

Zoochosis

Wild animals in captivity are nothing but a tourist attraction purely owned by selfish money-hungry investors. We are learning nothing about an animal trapped in a cage. Zoologists cannot sustain their existence by studying their behaviours in a zoo. What we should be doing for the good of all is conserving what is left of their natural habitat. Start by not turning a blind-eye to the problems we are facing each and every day. Start conserving energy. Stop using paper for unnecessary propaganda. Stop using products that contain environmentally damaging ingredients. RECYCLE. Read and understand the ingredients we are about to put forth into our bodies. Think about where that precious souvenir came from before purchasing it. Stop OVER-fishing. Stop eating SO much freaking MEAT. Like our native ancestors, let us give thanks for our 'Catch of the Day' and savor the moment. The environment is damaged to a degree that is already irreversible. Sadly, it is the inevitable that some of these magnificent creatures will resolve into extinction. However, removing species from its ecosystem and sticking them in a conservatory/zoo is not the answer to our world's problems. We must acknowledge and change our ways of living to continue to evolve into better human-beings. http://www.care2.com/causes/zoochosis-the-disturbing-thing-that-happens-to-animals-in-captivity.html?cid=fb_causes_zoochosis

Holiday

Firstly, keep in mind that Malaysia has two distinct seasons. A rainy season and a dry season. The country is typically warm throughout the year with temperatures ranging from 21 degrees Celsius (In layman's terms 70s) to 32 degrees Celsius (90s). Goosebumps are rarely experienced until one steps-foot into an 'icebox' (Shopping Center). However, in the highlands, temperatures can drop as low as 16 degrees Celsius (60s). So, the likelihood of spotting a snowman here during Christmas will be one made out of sticky rice.

Some expats are not aware of the number of holidays Malaysia has in a given year. Likewise, I'm not aware of it until I'm at a shopping mall one day, where I stumble upon a SURPRISINGLY giant, happy snowman, or an AMAZING Deepavali rice-art SMACK in the middle of the pathway. Alternately, when I hear the sounds of Chinese drums in the distance, followed by the ECHOES OF CHINESE DRUMS INSIDE MY HEAD.

Needless to say, the holidays creep up on us all the time. Christmas, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Wesak, to name a few. There are SO many holidays where there is barely enough time in between them to make arrangements. (Can you feel my frustration? Probably not. Okay moving on....)

Prior to the recent holiday, Labour Day, and all other holidays before that, it was Good Friday. In which coincidentally fell between student's mid-term break. SPRING BREAK, per se. And, sequentially added 17 days of (Think Madonna Song.) "HOLIDAY!"

We chose yet another incredible island for our "HOLIDAY" destination. Kata Beach in Phuket Thailand, since we've never been to Thailand before, and to seek relaxation with breathtaking views.

Here the boys enjoyed surfing for their first time.

We enjoyed magical sunsets.

 
We also thought about experiencing a sequestered island, with a lesser civilian population, if that's even possible. In 2013 statistics reports; Phuket Thailand, 209.7 square miles of island, Population: 503,000. More than 21 percent for whom are expats permanently reside here. Who can blame them?! Then add SPRING BREAK to the equation. Now do the math.


So, we readily went for an island hopping excursion, that required us to hop on a bus, which then took us up-and-down a mountain on a narrow winding road, with torrential rain and mudslides. An hour later, optimistic and with no regrets, YET, we cradled aboard a speedboat that took us 30 minutes, or so, away from the east coast of Phuket. Then, astounded that we finally made it, found ourselves on all fours upon an island called Koh Khai.

Here the boys enjoyed snorkeling for their first time.

Notice the colorful array of umbrella BRIGADE in the background?

An Asian once said to me that Westerners all look alike, perhaps as a joke. Well, it is quite apparent that we all THINK alike, TOO.

HEY! The more the merrier.

Here, we were greeted by friendly Koh Khai Islanders who offered us fresh tropical fruits and drinks.

Here's reality.

And, here is yet another 'sad' fact. It was disappointing to discover coral reef disintegration. As well as to find an extensive amount of plastic bags, fishing lines and empty bottles washed ashore in the mornings at Kata beach. By, presumably, night fishermen in their boats, who their tiny flickering lights are seen by the hundreds in the vast distance, fishing for squid, or whatever else that gets tangled up in their nets.

All in all, we enjoyed our holiday getaway. Our accommodation at Kata Beach was inviting. Restaurants are affordably priced and the people are friendly. They did a good job keeping their beaches clean, as well. Our boys could hardly wait to arrive back to our hotel room, to find these countless, hand-crafted sea-creatures made of leaves from a tree. (below) I'm surprised to see there are still quite a few leaves on its branches.

"Malay-tham City"

I'm absolutely convinced that all drivers in Kuala Lumpur has the game of Chicken on their brain. What's astonishing is to witness drivers who are the proud owners and behind the wheel of a BMW, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz, Bentley, Ferrari... who actually want to play the game. It's one thing risking your life and the lives of others, but it's another to survive the crash only to watch your money, and more importantly YOUR SOUL, dwindle down to nothing.

"When In Rome Do What The Romans Do"

I, regretfully, confess that I’ve turned into one of those lawless, reckless, balls-of-steel, 'Malaysian Style' drivers, who also has the game of Chicken on the brain. The truth of the matter is if I had stuck with my morals and stayed a law-abiding individual, in the Wild West, I'd never seize the chance to get by, like EVER. Because in KL, that is, I'm up against villains who will seize the opportunity and overtake me in an unprecedented move, leaving me to wonder how on earth did they make it past me without a single scratch. And baffled as to why it's half past the hour and we still haven't made it through the damn traffic light yet. Could I've been daydreaming? For that long? It's possible.

"Our Children Are Watching"

I am perfectly aware that something has got to give, and soon. Or else, possibly one of our kids are going to grow up to become a legendary superlative villain, with severe road rage issues. Like their Momma. (See below.) Who when behind the wheel is on the death-defying mission from point A to point B.

Taking our kids to school every morning is becoming something like a Marvel Comic scene...

Pokerfacemom in Malay-tham City

Early Morning In "Malay-tham" City...

I proceed to walk out our front door. Everything appears to slow-down in cosmic mode as if I'm entering sandman. I'm walking steadily and confidently into an abyss of smog. We're on the page where we're getting inside our vehicle, dreadfully predicting a war-zone of hell, battling traffic on the streets of Malaysia, better-known as the streets of "Malay-tham" City. I hear a fainted voice in the cloudy distance. “DON'T FORGET YOUR PURSE, MOMMY!” I quickly run back inside the house and grab my effin' purse (always something), holding weapons of mass destruction. "Uhhh...Thanks, sweetie", I reply cautiously in a subdued voice.

I have to be extremely careful. I'm psychologically prepared and ready to commence battle with a potty mouth half-cocked and fully loaded, ready to ignite at anyone who dares to push my buttons. I'm sporting the Look-To-Kill on my face that I'm pretty sure reads, "Don't fuck with me, Morons, or else." If they dared, they'll have realized too late in the game that they've messed with the wrong bitch on the wrong side of the planet.


Scene 1. "Fruit-flies, LIKE WE'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!"

Swiftly approaching a swarm of fruit-flies riding motorcycles. Luckily, my intuitive sense tells me to check all three of my rear view mirrors and turn my head, so as not to pulverize one of them named 'Ahmad' (made-up name), who's sporting flip-flops buzzing around in my blind-spot on a so-called motorbike that spells DISASTER!
Mission accomplished.

Scene 2. "Moron Alert"

AWAS (CAUTION! ONCOMING MORONS!) I'm weening through in a zigzagging motion to avoid a head-on collision. Because the impatient Morons on the oncoming lane have absolutely no patience and cannot stay-put on their fucking side of the road. Apparently, the MORONS desperately feel the need to pass-up vehicles to be at work on time for 9AM, only to leave again for breakfast at 10AM! "LOOK, KIDS, IT'S SANTA!" I've successfully distracted the kids, inconspicuously shot-the-bird at every moron, and managed to get us through safely.
Mission accomplished.

Scene 3. "Berhenti... What Does It Even Mean?"

In Malay-tham City, it means STOP, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE A CHICKEN. I'm no Chicken. And, when pigs fly, the Obama Care actually works, my mom wins the lottery, and a Malaysian officer happens to pull me over for running a BERHENTI sign, with a deranged look on my face, I will ask them, "Why Berhenti?", "Why not join the majority of the planet and spell it S-T-O-P?" "Apparently, OFFICER..." "Villains, 'Chang', 'Feng' and 'Lee' (made-up names), aren't getting it either."

Scene 4. "ENTERING THE MADNESS"

Dreadfully approaching bottleneck traffic. This refers to 10 lanes opened on the tolls, then having to SQUEEZE your way into 3 lanes, leaving you baffled once again. I'd love to know who were the brilliant, undermining authorities and developers who came up with this ingenious plan. I'd like to get together with the imbeciles, probe them over whiskey, AND A MACHETE.

HEY, LOOK! I'M ON THE COVER OF 'THE HEAT' MAGAZINE! AND SO IS THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF WEST MALAYSIA!







DRIVE SAFE EVERYONE, AND REMEMBER TO BUCKLE-UP,
IT'S THE LAW, IN MOST PARTS OF THE WORLD...

A Letter To Gia

                     

Rest In Peace, My Sweet Gia.
 December 31, 2000 to November 1, 2013

Merely one look of that awry day, that moment when we must part

Yet it grew near, I felt dismayed. Do I have to face it one day?

That as I imagined,

It was the saddest days of my life.

I miss you dearly and wish so badly I had just one more chance.

I'd do things differently and spent more time for walks at the park. 

Coming home is not the same, my shadow no longer follows me.

 Although for now I must have faith and trust you are in a better place. 

Guarding over us from above with your invincible, fearsome bark. 

I can still hear them sometimes, echoing inside my head.

Courageous. Loyal. Honorable. Playful and loving.  

Just a few words to describe who you were.

A true friend, 

who will never be forgotten. 


Rest for now, my Sweet Gia,

Till we meet again. 

Airport Adventures

  

I've officially become an 'American' worldly traveler. This gains me huge appraisal as one cannot easily become a worldly traveler without lots of experience... and children. When I first arrived in Malaysia, I was informed that Americans are rarely known to be worldly travelers. I, for one, did not dispute this bit of insignificant information. As far as I'm concerned, the French can take top recognition for this particular category followed by the Dutch. And because once upon a time, not long ago, traveling was one of my biggest nightmares. I was perfectly content staying in my country than jumping on a plane and flying my entire family thousands of miles to live in an underdeveloped one.

From our first big move from Houston to Malaysia to all other subsequent trips, I would lose sleep, night after night, before the 'giant leap for mankind'. I'd become completely stressed out over the idea of getting on a plane and traveling halfway across the planet overseas. Not because of a possible devastating plane crash, but because I anticipated how our kids were going to cope during those grueling hours while traveling on an airplane for 2 days straight with several transits along the way. Let alone, embarking and disembarking the aircraft with children, I suspected would be a challenge in itself. Walking (More like carrying) them out of the aircraft, chasing them down at security checkpoints, followed by piggyback rides to terminal gate 99. And in the midst of it all, I'd be hanging on to that single glimpse of hope that ONE DAY we will have finally arrived at our final destination in one piece.

I remember those grueling flights as if it were yesterday. My three-year-old running up and down the aisles of the plane, climbing over seats, wreaking havoc and discomfort to all the passengers on board...Myself included! Having to change my uncooperative two-year-old's poopy diapers in a toilet room the size of a telephone booth. Restless nights and days, traveling from dusk till dawn, through thunderstorms and rain. Delayed flights accompanied by hours of crying and entertaining anxious children in a cold, deserted terminal of an airport. Not to mention, the moment of zombification. Yes, zombification. We are utterly exhausted and disillusioned by the lack of oxygen inside the aircraft. Our bodies shriveled from dehydration and kinked from being stuck in a lotus pose on a plane 30,000 feet above sea level for OVER 18 hours! We grovel from terminal to terminal, security checkpoint to security checkpoint, followed by queuing up in endless rows in immigration. Then, finally, 3 to 4 planes later (I've lost count) and hours of disillusionment, WE, MIRACULOUSLY are on our last flight... READY FOR TAKE OFF.

Three years later. The children are now five and six, and they cope much better on plane rides. The stress that comes from the thought of flying with my kids has dissipated.

How do I conquer the madness?
'drum roll.'

I JUST DO IT.

I dive right into the pit of doom. I endure it and conquer it. Do I enjoy it? no, not exactly. It's how expats and locals travel in and around Asia. Thankfully, the children are getting used to it.

So here's my thought process at a glance: Once I hit the check-out button on Expedia.com, I, eventually, pack our bags, then think fast forward into our destination. I don't dare to think about the travel part in between. Once I'm on the plane, it's a done deal. And here's the best part! It's worth any bit of anxiety that lingers within me because most destinations in Asia are ISLANDS, surrounded by beautiful beaches with astonishing views! I need not mention, the scheduled Spa treatment that's waiting for me on those beautiful beaches as we arrive.

And all the while, I have a blast taking photos and videos of our children having a blast!

Here's a video of Nicholas when he was five at one of those forsaken airports, needing a break in a massage chair.