Holiday

Firstly, keep in mind that Malaysia has two distinct seasons. A rainy season and a dry season. The country is typically warm throughout the year with temperatures ranging from 21 degrees Celsius (In layman's terms 70s) to 32 degrees Celsius (90s). Goosebumps are rarely experienced until one steps-foot into an 'icebox' (Shopping Center). However, in the highlands, temperatures can drop as low as 16 degrees Celsius (60s). So, the likelihood of spotting a snowman here during Christmas will be one made out of sticky rice.

Some expats are not aware of the number of holidays Malaysia has in a given year. Likewise, I'm not aware of it until I'm at a shopping mall one day, where I stumble upon a SURPRISINGLY giant, happy snowman, or an AMAZING Deepavali rice-art SMACK in the middle of the pathway. Alternately, when I hear the sounds of Chinese drums in the distance, followed by the ECHOES OF CHINESE DRUMS INSIDE MY HEAD.

Needless to say, the holidays creep up on us all the time. Christmas, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Wesak, to name a few. There are SO many holidays where there is barely enough time in between them to make arrangements. (Can you feel my frustration? Probably not. Okay moving on....)

Prior to the recent holiday, Labour Day, and all other holidays before that, it was Good Friday. In which coincidentally fell between student's mid-term break. SPRING BREAK, per se. And, sequentially added 17 days of (Think Madonna Song.) "HOLIDAY!"

We chose yet another incredible island for our "HOLIDAY" destination. Kata Beach in Phuket Thailand, since we've never been to Thailand before, and to seek relaxation with breathtaking views.

Here the boys enjoyed surfing for their first time.

We enjoyed magical sunsets.

 
We also thought about experiencing a sequestered island, with a lesser civilian population, if that's even possible. In 2013 statistics reports; Phuket Thailand, 209.7 square miles of island, Population: 503,000. More than 21 percent for whom are expats permanently reside here. Who can blame them?! Then add SPRING BREAK to the equation. Now do the math.


So, we readily went for an island hopping excursion, that required us to hop on a bus, which then took us up-and-down a mountain on a narrow winding road, with torrential rain and mudslides. An hour later, optimistic and with no regrets, YET, we cradled aboard a speedboat that took us 30 minutes, or so, away from the east coast of Phuket. Then, astounded that we finally made it, found ourselves on all fours upon an island called Koh Khai.

Here the boys enjoyed snorkeling for their first time.

Notice the colorful array of umbrella BRIGADE in the background?

An Asian once said to me that Westerners all look alike, perhaps as a joke. Well, it is quite apparent that we all THINK alike, TOO.

HEY! The more the merrier.

Here, we were greeted by friendly Koh Khai Islanders who offered us fresh tropical fruits and drinks.

Here's reality.

And, here is yet another 'sad' fact. It was disappointing to discover coral reef disintegration. As well as to find an extensive amount of plastic bags, fishing lines and empty bottles washed ashore in the mornings at Kata beach. By, presumably, night fishermen in their boats, who their tiny flickering lights are seen by the hundreds in the vast distance, fishing for squid, or whatever else that gets tangled up in their nets.

All in all, we enjoyed our holiday getaway. Our accommodation at Kata Beach was inviting. Restaurants are affordably priced and the people are friendly. They did a good job keeping their beaches clean, as well. Our boys could hardly wait to arrive back to our hotel room, to find these countless, hand-crafted sea-creatures made of leaves from a tree. (below) I'm surprised to see there are still quite a few leaves on its branches.

"Malay-tham City"

I'm absolutely convinced that all drivers in Kuala Lumpur has the game of Chicken on their brain. What's astonishing is to witness drivers who are the proud owners and behind the wheel of a BMW, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz, Bentley, Ferrari... who actually want to play the game. It's one thing risking your life and the lives of others, but it's another to survive the crash only to watch your money, and more importantly YOUR SOUL, dwindle down to nothing.

"When In Rome Do What The Romans Do"

I, regretfully, confess that I’ve turned into one of those lawless, reckless, balls-of-steel, 'Malaysian Style' drivers, who also has the game of Chicken on the brain. The truth of the matter is if I had stuck with my morals and stayed a law-abiding individual, in the Wild West, I'd never seize the chance to get by, like EVER. Because in KL, that is, I'm up against villains who will seize the opportunity and overtake me in an unprecedented move, leaving me to wonder how on earth did they make it past me without a single scratch. And baffled as to why it's half past the hour and we still haven't made it through the damn traffic light yet. Could I've been daydreaming? For that long? It's possible.

"Our Children Are Watching"

I am perfectly aware that something has got to give, and soon. Or else, possibly one of our kids are going to grow up to become a legendary superlative villain, with severe road rage issues. Like their Momma. (See below.) Who when behind the wheel is on the death-defying mission from point A to point B.

Taking our kids to school every morning is becoming something like a Marvel Comic scene...

Pokerfacemom in Malay-tham City

Early Morning In "Malay-tham" City...

I proceed to walk out our front door. Everything appears to slow-down in cosmic mode as if I'm entering sandman. I'm walking steadily and confidently into an abyss of smog. We're on the page where we're getting inside our vehicle, dreadfully predicting a war-zone of hell, battling traffic on the streets of Malaysia, better-known as the streets of "Malay-tham" City. I hear a fainted voice in the cloudy distance. “DON'T FORGET YOUR PURSE, MOMMY!” I quickly run back inside the house and grab my effin' purse (always something), holding weapons of mass destruction. "Uhhh...Thanks, sweetie", I reply cautiously in a subdued voice.

I have to be extremely careful. I'm psychologically prepared and ready to commence battle with a potty mouth half-cocked and fully loaded, ready to ignite at anyone who dares to push my buttons. I'm sporting the Look-To-Kill on my face that I'm pretty sure reads, "Don't fuck with me, Morons, or else." If they dared, they'll have realized too late in the game that they've messed with the wrong bitch on the wrong side of the planet.


Scene 1. "Fruit-flies, LIKE WE'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!"

Swiftly approaching a swarm of fruit-flies riding motorcycles. Luckily, my intuitive sense tells me to check all three of my rear view mirrors and turn my head, so as not to pulverize one of them named 'Ahmad' (made-up name), who's sporting flip-flops buzzing around in my blind-spot on a so-called motorbike that spells DISASTER!
Mission accomplished.

Scene 2. "Moron Alert"

AWAS (CAUTION! ONCOMING MORONS!) I'm weening through in a zigzagging motion to avoid a head-on collision. Because the impatient Morons on the oncoming lane have absolutely no patience and cannot stay-put on their fucking side of the road. Apparently, the MORONS desperately feel the need to pass-up vehicles to be at work on time for 9AM, only to leave again for breakfast at 10AM! "LOOK, KIDS, IT'S SANTA!" I've successfully distracted the kids, inconspicuously shot-the-bird at every moron, and managed to get us through safely.
Mission accomplished.

Scene 3. "Berhenti... What Does It Even Mean?"

In Malay-tham City, it means STOP, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE A CHICKEN. I'm no Chicken. And, when pigs fly, the Obama Care actually works, my mom wins the lottery, and a Malaysian officer happens to pull me over for running a BERHENTI sign, with a deranged look on my face, I will ask them, "Why Berhenti?", "Why not join the majority of the planet and spell it S-T-O-P?" "Apparently, OFFICER..." "Villains, 'Chang', 'Feng' and 'Lee' (made-up names), aren't getting it either."

Scene 4. "ENTERING THE MADNESS"

Dreadfully approaching bottleneck traffic. This refers to 10 lanes opened on the tolls, then having to SQUEEZE your way into 3 lanes, leaving you baffled once again. I'd love to know who were the brilliant, undermining authorities and developers who came up with this ingenious plan. I'd like to get together with the imbeciles, probe them over whiskey, AND A MACHETE.

HEY, LOOK! I'M ON THE COVER OF 'THE HEAT' MAGAZINE! AND SO IS THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF WEST MALAYSIA!







DRIVE SAFE EVERYONE, AND REMEMBER TO BUCKLE-UP,
IT'S THE LAW, IN MOST PARTS OF THE WORLD...

A Letter To Gia

                     

Rest In Peace, My Sweet Gia.
 December 31, 2000 to November 1, 2013

Merely one look of that awry day, that moment when we must part

Yet it grew near, I felt dismayed. Do I have to face it one day?

That as I imagined,

It was the saddest days of my life.

I miss you dearly and wish so badly I had just one more chance.

I'd do things differently and spent more time for walks at the park. 

Coming home is not the same, my shadow no longer follows me.

 Although for now I must have faith and trust you are in a better place. 

Guarding over us from above with your invincible, fearsome bark. 

I can still hear them sometimes, echoing inside my head.

Courageous. Loyal. Honorable. Playful and loving.  

Just a few words to describe who you were.

A true friend, 

who will never be forgotten. 


Rest for now, my Sweet Gia,

Till we meet again.